SPR Natural News

  “Hello, and welcome to SPR: Natural News. I'm Fox Nightly. Thank you for joining us on this Sunday night. It’s the twelfth of April, 2015, and here’s our top story… Researchers have been studying a strange section of the Pacific Ocean that seems to be much warmer than the surrounding areas. They have been going through a variety of tests and hypothesis, to no avail. But, after bringing in a group of specialists, they believe they have finally cracked the case… Right Ann?” “Right, Fox! This is Ann Chorman, live and on location in the middle of the Pacific. For as far as the eye can see there are hardworking men who, apparently, have nothing better to do with their time than work out shirtless and maintain their golden tan-“ “Ann, FOCUS. About the hot sea?” “Oh yes… it’s definitely a sea of hotties…” “Ann…” “Oh! Sorry! Right… Anywho… This brave crew has been out here for over a year straight helping with the research effort. After a few specialists were added to the roster, they we...

  “Hello, and welcome to SPR: Natural News. I'm Fox Nightly. Thank you for joining us on this Saturday night. It’s the eleventh of April, 2015, and here’s our top story… We’re receiving reports of naked men running through the streets of-” “I’m there! Ann Chorman on location in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Yes, Fox, I received word not long ago of this and got here as fast as I could.” “Wow Ann, you- you really got there fast.” “Of course, Fox. Who wouldn’t want to cover naked men running in the streets?” “Well… thank you for your… dedication… Ann. I know you haven’t been there all that long, but what do you know so far about this developing story?” “Quite a bit, actually. Sadly, the initial reports were a bit off from the facts I uncovered since I got here.” “How so, Ann?” “Well, for starters… The extent of the story was a bit… exaggerated… It wasn’t a group of men, as I was so tragically MISINFORMED it was. It was simply a single individual who was running around naked in the street...

  "Hello, and welcome to SPR: Natural News. I'm Fox Nightly. Thank you for joining us on this Friday night. It’s the tenth of April, 2015, and here’s our top story… There are reports of strange fires in the underground of a mountain in China. A special team of investigators have been dispatched. Our own Ann Chorman is on the scene.” “Thanks Fox. I’m Ann Chorman reporting live from… some Chinese mountain range…” “Wait, Ann, weren’t you just in Florida yesterday?” “Yes I was Fox! I still have sand in places that shouldn’t be mentioned on tv… or at least I’m told I’m not supposed to talk about it.” “Wow Ann, you certainly get around!” “You say that like you’re surprised. I mean you know I’m- Oh! Wait! You mean hopping halfway around the world? Yeah, I’m really up the frequent flyer miles!” “Ahem, Ann?” “Yes Fox?” “About the mysterious fires?” “Oh! Yes! Anywho… A sinkhole appeared in the side of the mountain, and hot flames are indeed pouring out of it.” “Have you been able to loc...

  “Hello, and welcome to SPR: Natural News. I'm Fox Nightly. Thank you for joining us on this Thursday night. It’s the ninth of April, 2015, and here’s our top story… We’ve heard some troubling reports of some kind of sea monster attacks along the coast. With it being spring break season, there is a large potential for this to lead to many casualties and, potentially, harm to the area’s economy. The reports were both troubling and… vague… We sent our own field reporter Ann Chorman to investigate… Ann? What have you been able to learn?” “Thank you Fox. I am Ann Chorman for SPR Natural News. I’m here on the sunny coast, surrounded by sun, surf, and gorgeous college coeds… but all is not well in paradise…” “That sounds… terrible… tell us, what have you uncovered in your vigorous investigations? … Ann? Hello?” “Oh, sorry! Shirtless guys, got distracted. Anywho… I’m sorry but I have some rather bad news…” “Well Ann, that sounds grave indeed… What is it? What has been terrorizing the spr...