SPR Natural News

“Hello, and welcome to SPR: Natural News. I’m Fox Nightly. Thank you for joining us on this Tuesday evening. It’s the ninth of August, 2022, and here’s our top story… We’ve received reports of... I’m sorry… Is that card right? … It IS? … You’re SURE? … Please double check for me, I’d hate to have a story full of misinformation that hasn’t been vetted. You know I- … OH! Great! Yes, thank you very much! I know you take your job as seriously as I do and I’m sure our viewers appreciate your dedication to the truth by checking it repeatedly… Sorry, everyone, I just had to double check this before we really got into it. It’s a bit hard to believe but… Accord to reports, CONFIRMED reports mind you, the Antichrist has been found… on a golf course… in Florida. I mean, yeah, okay, Florida makes complete sense… Although I honestly always expected them to be found in Washington DC and- … Why is everyone back there laughing? … Oh boy... Ahem… We now send you over to our own Ann Chorman, live, on lo...

  “Hello, and welcome to SPR: Natural News. I’m Fox Nightly. Thank you for joining us on this Friday evening. It’s the fifth of August, 2022, and here’s our top story… We’ve received reports of... well… to quote one of our tippers, quote, ‘A mad scientist is blowing up large chunks of the Australian landscape and I’m pretty sure some of the fires can be seen from space.’ end quote. We’ve also received other, as of yet, unconfirmed reports that the fires and explosions are caused by rampant fire elementals. Our own Ann Chorman has made the trip to Australia to try and get to the truth of the matter. Ann?” “Hi, Fox! This is Ann Chorman, reporting live from down under-” “Ann! We are LIVE! Please remember your last conversation with H R and our public relations team. So, please, do NOT finish that sentence with: policeman, fireman, paramedic, lifeguard, postman, mailman, soldier, nurse, doctor, maid, house keeper, chef pilot, gardener, pool boy, or any OTHER professional that wears a u...